Daddy's 9th

March 16, 2008 Sunday afternoon… when police officer / llb Medel G. Isais; my father, passed away.. Ang bilis talaga ng panahon.. today marks his 9th year death anniversary.. 

It's already nine years when our lives changed when our dear God called our earthly father back. Nine years… matagal tagal na din pala no? Well.. matagal na talaga. 

I was only 16 years old back then.. Hindi ko pa masyado alam yung mga mangyayari pag nawala na si Daddy. Ang naalala ko lang na naiisip ko noon, mawawala na si Daddy.. yun lang. Hindi ko naisip kung pano mababago yung araw-araw naming buhay.. 

Until lately.. palagi ko tinatanong sarili ko kung ano kaya ang buhay namin if nandito pa si Daddy.. Kung mas naging close na ba kami habang tumatanda ba ako? Magiging proud kaya sya sa akin? Ano kaya mga ipapayo nya sa mga gagawin ko? Ewan.  Ang daming tanong.. Ang dami kong tanong kung paano ang buhay kung nandito pa sya.. Ang kaso lang.. wala sya. Wala na sya. At kahit kailan, hindi ko malalaman at mararanasan pa yung “what if kung nandito pa sya”. 

Wala akong ibang pwede gawin kung hindi kausapin yung Father in Heaven ko.. I thank God na binigyan Nya ako ng ama dito sa lupa.. Nagpapasalamat ako na for 16 years pinaranasan sa akin ni Lord kung pano magkaroon ng Daddy. Hindi man perfect si Daddy… pero  lubos lubos ang pasasalamat ko na sya ang eartly father ko. 

Mahigpit sya sa amin.. pero salamat at naging mahigpit sya. Kasi lumaki naman kaming maayos.. Nagagalit sya pag hindi kami pumapasok.. at salamat dahil doon ay nakatapos ako ng pag-aaral ko.. Pinapagalitan nya kami lagi pag hindi nauubos yung pagkain namin. At sobrang pasasalamat ko doon.. Dahil hangang ngayon sobrang sakit sa dibdib ko pag may natitirang pagkain. Kahit sa mga nakakasalamuha kong mga tao, palagi ko sinasabi na kailangang ubusin ang food. Nagpapasalamat ako na nagkaroon ako ng ama na sobrang sipag mag-aral.. Dahil sa kanya nakita ko ang halaga ng may pinag-aralan. Nakita ko din sa kanya ang pag tulong ng walang kapalit. Nagpapasalamat ako sa Panginoon sa buhay na binigay nya kay Daddy. Nagpapasalamat ako na naranasan kong may matawag na Daddy. Nagpapasalamat ako na may nag disiplina sa amin noon. Nagpapasalamat ako sa pag mamahal at pag aalaga ng isang ama. 

Thank you Lord, that even though I lost my earthly father…. You found me and allowed me to call you my Father.. 

Daddy.. 
Someday.. we'll see you again in our forever home, in Heaven.  Together with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We love you so much! 

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An Old Machine

Today, my office mate used this machine. I was so stunned when I saw the machine, so I asked her if I can use it. I was so happy while typing because *wow* it is really amazing, indeed! I really don't know what am I going to type. So I typed my favorite verse instead. :) It's really wonderful how things evolved. From this type writing machine to this computer that I am using now. 

Despite of all the new things around us, it feels good to sometimes go back to the old one. Once they were used and needed as much as we need the computers that we are using today. It feels good to use the old things that were used by other people with the same age as I am now decades ago. 

It's like a time machine, I felt like I was one of the people who used this years and years ago. I remember when I was still a kid, I used to see this at home.. then few years after that, I saw the more modern one which was the electric typewriter. Being a small kid, I used to press the keys.. pressing the keys yet composing nothing. Today, I got the chance to press the keys of the typewriter again.. but this time, I am composing something.. I am really writing something.. one of my favorite verse in the Bible, "Galatians 2:20".  

Praise be to God with this machinery! 

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This is the Season

Summer is nearly over, no more sweaty moments. This is the season I've been waiting for. Rainy season, the season for me to go and enjoy what the world is offering outside. 

It's like love at first sight when I saw the rain dropped. It's really magical in a way that... I can't contained the excitement. 

New season.. new reason to smile, to laugh, to enjoy, and to love. 

It might look gloomy in the outside, but in the inside it is pure of happiness and thanksgiving. 

Happy rainy days everyone! 

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Another Used To Be

One of the best feeling in this world is the feeling of being in love. The butterflies in your stomach, the bloom in your face,  that smile on your lips, the twinkling eyes, and the happiness that you can't seems to explain. It feels so good. It feels so perfect. Everything seems so good, until the time that you'll wake up and it's over. 

Meeting

Year 2013 when we first met each other. It was a night to remember, indeed. Everything seems so perfect. The man in black shirt and white shorts had just caught my attention. He seemed so nervous when he asked for my name and my number. 

The Chase

The next day, he texted me and I texted back. We started talking to each other. We started Skype-ing. We started seeing each other. 

Honeymoon

It was midnight when he asked me if I can be his girlfriend, and I said Yes. I can still remember the smile on his face and the twinkle in his eyes. It was a night to remember. First few months, he was still that man. He used to call me every morning and every night. He was so proud and happy to introduced me to his friends. He was so caring, understanding and loving even though I was clumsy, moody, or even weird at times. This was the stage when I fell so deeply in love with him. 

Comfortable

Months passed by, things were slowly getting different. We're so comfortable with each other being around. We're now doing our own activities. He's playing with his video games while I was just right there beside him reading some books. We're on the couch while he's watching the TV and I was just right there surfing the net. He's surfing the net while I was cooking for our dinner. My "surprises" that used to bring smiles and happiness to him, were now all taken for granted.  Things just happened as a part of our daily routine. Being together yet so far with each other. We were so comfortable with each other that we've created our own world without the other one. We got so comfortable that we were not aware that we were also creating distance from one another. 

Downhill

We got so busy with our own lives. Then we woke up not wanting or needing one another. 

Breaking Up

And... we officially ended everything. 

Strangers Again

We are now back to being strangers again. Sadly, but we are just another used to be. 

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Letting Go?

Is it really easy to unlearn things? Is it really easy to change the things you "used to do"? Is it really easy to forget what you have mastered long time ago? Is it really easy to let go of the things that has sentimental value for you? Is it really easy to let go of the people in your life? People in your life that means a lot to you?

For me.. It's hard. For all the questions I have, the only answer I can give is a big no. I can't just unlearn things I learned from that person. I just can't change the things I used to do.

It's hard to let go of everything that you had dreamed of. It's hard to forget all the memories that you had shared with that person. It's hard to unlearn the things that you know about that person. His favorite color, his favorite food, the way he sleeps, the way he talks when he is so excited to share a story with you, the things that pisses him off, how he wants his eggs to be cooked, his daily routine before he goes to bed, his preferred sleeping position, the way he gets so excited every time his favorite PS games will be released, the way he plays with the dogs, every time he will worry about the bills, the way he laughs (specially when he watched Jackass), simply everything about him.

Surely it will be hard, but I don't have any choice but to be strong. Perhaps this is just really where we are heading to. To go on with our separate lives.

It's time to let go of all the hurt, bitterness, and disappointments. Gather and bring along all the good memories. As we move forward and face life. New life, indeed!

I know and I do believe that all things happen for a reason. It may either teach us a lesson or lead us to where we truly belong.

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Good For Life

I thought we’re good for life.. I thought we are, then what happened to us? A very simple question that I can’t seems to answer. I can’t deny the fact that until now there are times that I will just stare at something and ask myself this simple yet mind blowing question. And now here I am, trying to ask again the very same question I have for the past few years.

We’ve been so good together. I saw you in that so called “future of mine”, I saw you there.. Then now, why aren’t you here? What happened? I know what we had was genuine but if it really is, then where are you now? What happened to that so-true feelings that we had, I had? I thought we will survive. But we didn’t.

I know that I am not writing this because I still love you.. I am writing this because I am looking for that person whom I thought will be my “Good for Life”. I am now staring in this blank space and I can’t seems to find you. Where have you been? Where are you now? Why did you prove me wrong? Why?

Perhaps I would never find the answer to my Why’s.. Yeah, I know I would never hear you answer all of the questions I had at the back of my mind. I don’t even know if I’ve even crossed your mind. I don’t know. Yeah, I don’t know anything. I don’t know what happened to us. I don’t even know why am I writing this thing. I know and I’ve already accepted years ago that you’re not really my so called “Good for Life”. Well, almost.. Just an almost.

I knew, I accepted, I moved on… but will never understand, never.. I guess.. 

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Why Developing Serious Relationships in Your 20s Matters

In this fast phasing life a lot of things could happen in a blink of an eye. One day you're young and have all the time, tomorrow you've aged and running out of time. A lot of things could happen without you noticing it. So the question is, are 
you ready to share your youthful years with someone in a serious matter?

Here are some reasons why it is a good idea to develop a serious relationship in your 20's

1. Strength - you are both still young and has vigor to do things out together. You two can go mountain climbing, biking, visit different places, and do extreme adventure/things together. That youthful strength that you have in your 20's would be a good foundation of your memories together. And just to remind you, that energy that you have right now in your 20's would be different in your succeeding years. So it would be nice to spend that energetic years of yours with the person you want to grow old with. Right?

2. Time - by this time maybe your are still studying in your college, or perhaps enjoying yourself in your first job. Either way, your schedule is not yet so tied-up. You still have more time to discover new things to your soon to be partner in life. Unlike others who are already in their late 20's who are usually in a pressure to find "the one". They don't have ample time to know more about that person because some of them hears the ticking of the clock (the pressure).

3. Stable - when you think that you've already found the one, you can now focus more on the bigger concern of your life which is your future. If you already have a stable or what they call the "steady" relationship, it'll be easier for you to excel in your work. Knowing that there is someone who's excited for you to achieve your goals in life (aside from your family) would be great! 

4. Set for a married life - if you've been together since your early 20's.. settling down for good or entering into a married life in your late 20's wouldn't be an issue for the two of you. Perhaps by that time you've been in a relationship for 3-7 years already, and getting married in your late 20's or early 30's would be the best time. It wouldn't scare you because you had enough time to discover each others' strengths and weaknesses, what's good and bad with each other. You are already prepared financially, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. 

Look, I am not saying to settle down in your early 20's.. what I am trying convey here are the points in finding a serious relationship in your early 20's. I know we all have different views regarding this matter, but let me share my thought towards this topic.

I've read an article few days ago.. don't get me wrong, it was nice and I love some of his points regarding life and relationship. There is just one thing that I would like to expound. He said, "DO NOT settle on your 20's" and "explore". Yes, me to.. I don't like to settle and to have a family on my own in my early 20's. I am not ready for that neither. But when he said "explore".. I just don't agree with that idea to be honest. 

I am a kind of a person who doesn't want to waste my time with unnecessary things -- and people, to be precise. I don't want to explore by trying each man that i'll meet along the way. I am a person who enjoys sticking with one person whom I believed in. I always try to make a relationship work, I stick 'till the very end. But when I say it's over.. it's over.

I would rather take the term "explore" as a verb, in which... The two of us will explore new things, food, places, and experiences together. I think that sounds better than the idea of exploring with different people you meet, not knowing that you've let that right person go. As some people says, "You've lost the Moon while counting the Stars".

Remember that not all people can find a serious relationship, that is why you're blessed if you've already found that person who's serious being with you. It's your part now to take good care of him/her if you would really want that serious relationship to work. You found him/her early, you still have a long way to go.. together. :)

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It'll be different tomorrow...

Thinking about yesterday, the life that I had lived in for the past years of my life.. All the heartaches, disappointment, pain, struggles, fuss, and crap in my life. Everything! And now... here I am again, in front of my blog site... a blog site in where I  can be who I am. I can be quiet and just look straight on this blank space, a space in which I know that I am not really supposed to say or write about anything at all. No one is asking me to move my fingers across the keyboard... no one-- and yet, here I am. Speaking my heart out. 

Heart... Yeah, just a body part.. indeed. But hearing myself speaking out about this part, I vividly recall a lot of things. Umm, specifically.. about a tragic heartache. Yeah, it's a tragic one I say. 

Well.. I can still remember myself seeing this same blank space a year ago.. Same format, same same... Yeah, and now as I write... it seems like I can mirror myself. I can still see her sitting in front of her computer trying to collect herself, trying to speak her heart out by putting up the words together on this deadpan. Trying to blog the pain away. Haha.. yeah, I can still recall that term "blogging the pain away" of which she was usually doing. I still feel sorry for her.. Every time I look back and be on that same timeline with my old self, I can't help but to feel disappointed. But yeah? What else can I do? Past is past, it will still remain as a part of my history. 

Then... (woohoo! here comes the THEN part) yeah! 

Then.... I finally woke up and collected the broken pieces of me. Broken.. yeah.. I was really broken back then. Funny when I usually say before that I wasn't really broken. That I was just hurt and all.. But come on! It's time to finally admit to myself that yeah I was broken way back then... Real broke! 

I stood up, head's up. I started walking again and living again! How did it happen? My God... He picked me up. He'd helped me out. He gave me peace.. 

From that moment, I realized that everything has really an end. Specially that whatever heartache that you're feeling right now. Everyday is a new day, why halt on that pain? Okay, you got hurt? That's totally normal! You're still alive, pain and pleasure -- that's life! Good or bad, look up and give thanks! :) 

God bless you~~

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Beware Girls

     I don’t really know where to start.. I just really want to blog about this thing on my mind right now.  Calling all the girls out there, whether you’re in love, searching, in pain, waiting for someone, or whatever situation you are in right now… this blog is for you.

              

  Well, I’d just seen some old conversation from two persons who used to be so into each other. Sweet thought ah? Probably yes but not totally.

              

  I don’t why do girls are so gullible.  We tend to believe in everything that a guy is saying to us. Promises here and there.. Unending promises indeed! Like;

1.       I will never leave you.

2.       You are my life now.

3.       I want you to be my last and to be my future wife.

4.       I can’t imagine myself without you in my life.

5.       Trust me.. Just trust me.

Familiar uh? I bet! I don’t really know where am I getting this thought, but I’m just really mad about it. Every time I’m hearing my girl friends crying about these things, it makes my heart break. Because once in my life… I’ve been hurt. I just really know how it feels. And I thought I was the only one who heard these heartless promises.. but I’m not. I’d heard a number of girls venting about this matter. I saw the pain in them. I saw how their future was shattered because of these promises. I saw them and I feel for them.

Yeah, forgive me for ranting again. I just really want to burst this thing. I don’t know. Well I will admit, I’ve been hurt… so badly! My dreams were shattered that time. I’m really in pain, months had passed by but still I’m feeling that pain. Same old pain actually until I reached the time where I told myself that I will never love again, that I will never ever trust any man again. There was no hatred in me that time yet bitterness was in my heart during those times though.

But I guess it’s just really a matter of choice, a choice to love and not to dwell in the darkness of our past. Yes I’ve been hurt but it doesn’t mean that I will stop believing in love -- that I will stop trusting people again.  Perhaps, we’ll get hurt once, twice or even more than that yet it’s not the end of the world. If our relationship with that person doesn’t work, move forward and just trust God that He has a better plan for you.

Right now, I found a man who is really making me happy. He also promised those same old promises that a man usually say. At first I was really afraid to trust him and I have a lot of doubts.  But then I realized that if I will continue to doubt and will never learn to trust him… I am really unfair. My former boyfriend’s mistake was never his. They’re two distinct persons and I should realize that maybe yeah both of them are man but it doesn’t mean that they will do the same thing. I do really believe now that love is really like a gamble. You don’t really know what will happen. Whether you will take the jackpot home or you’ll lose everything you have. May we never forget that whether we won or lost something, there will always be a lesson behind it.

Life is really short, so just keep on moving forward.  Keep your head up and most especially keep your faith in Him. He knows what’s best for you. Smile beautiful J

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2013 first ever blog!

Hello my dear blogspot, I'm back! Yey :D

Well since I'm here again and disturbing the world of blogging, I would like to share a compilation of some random photos of me together with some people who'd been a part of my 2012 :)

Well, hindi naman yan kumpleto. Malamang hindi ko naman mapipicturan lahat ng taong nakakasama ko diba? But still I'm happy that I had enough photos that God has allowed me to share with you guys :)


Family picture at Citystate Hotel
Eduardson
Bea, Ann, Mus
Yssab baby
Mommy dear
Family bonding
Swimming with Wes, Bernard and Med
Dags [ray, nins, fi, vikes, mjon, amiel, malone]
Therese's drawing
Ross
Dinner with fam
Overnight with mus and bea
Gym with mus
Wensha with mus, pat and bea
Tides with FEU friends
Yes Bar with DAGS
Shakey - David's birthday
Swimming with Wes, Bea and Ross
Badminton with Pat and Erick
Sambokojin with pat, mus and bea
Swimming with dags
Dinner with Ken and Mus
Dinner with Mus fam
Guan Yiac's Christmas party
Jzone Live
Alinea's Christmas Celebration
Flaming wings
Dinner with Ian
With bert @ garden
Papang's 80th bithday
Eden Club with good friends
Swim with pinsan
Mommy med cam
HS friends
With Mus
With Med
With bff TXHIE
With DAGS @ gateway
With DAGS @ Trinoma
With mommy
With PSBA friends
Tides with friends
Perfect Spot with friends
Papus with Ann Mus Bea
Guilly's with friends
Coffee with Bea and Pat
Tristan and Kim
Space Club
With Kuya Jenkin and Ate Aisa @ T&C
With bogs
Don, Arante and Wes
Old school tropa
With Hazel and bogs
Jasper and Bert
With ate and Med
With fam dinner @ marikina hotel
Kuya ben
Mr. Kebab with Mus
Karen
Oyster boy
Candy shop
Videoke with Dags
Grad Pic
Bosay with
Bulaluhan sa Espanya
Isais' Christmas
Gifts
At tita Delta's place
Lola's 80th birthday

And tenen, my random photos also :) 

Blaaaaaahh~~ That's all.. I can now proceed with my 2013 blogs. Yeah such a late opening for 2013. See you on my next blogs :p God Bless!

All love, Mida ♥

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