Finding God's Peace in the Midst of Frustration

Just got struck by the reality big time! I was just working on some kind of a report that I need to submit when I decided to put or to use rather some law terms on it. Then just that! I was so stunned. I just realized that I should have been a CPA by now. Perhaps I am already. If only I'd studied well during my undergrad and my review days. If only I wasn’t afraid to bring myself to the PRC and got my name registered last Oct. 2014 CPA Board Exam. If only I’d focused well enough to gain some confidence. Probably by this point of time I am already taking up some law classes to fulfill my dream of becoming a lawyer of which my dad wants me to become. If only… Just if only.

The fact is, I didn’t do anything at all. I just had all these plans at the back of my mind but no actions at all. A lot of people truly believes in me. Family and friends who truly knew me. They truly believe that I will pass the board, that I will be a successful accountant and all. Just imagining these people behind me; gives me a chill. Their love and support is really over whelming. I don’t really even think that I deserve it. All I’ve been doing is to give them false hope. Disappoint them.

I am so disappointed with myself as well. Being so conceited, yet I proved nothing. Then now as I am writing to vent out, my playlist played “Reason I live” and the lyrics amazingly touched me. As the lyrics says:

 “I am yours, every part of me. Jesus, you’re the reason I live. Take my life oh use me as you will. Jesus you’re the reason I live.”

In an instance I found peace. Good Lord. Amazing you truly are. I know and I do believe that this pain and frustrations I am going through now is just a way for me to know more about Christ. Again for the nth time, God proved that He is the only thing I need in my life. He is the king of peace. Praise God for this pain and sadness in my heart. For this pain; my heart found You. 

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A Healthy Argument

I was having a late night conversation with a close friend of mine, well it's just because of my blog. Well, it's just funny how we got into this kind of conversation tho. Hehe. This is the Privacy VS. Privacy thing that we're believing with.. I really don't know why are we even arguing about this matter. haha! It's just that.. it's been so long since I had a conversation something like this, so here it is, our very own version of Privacy.. Haha!

And that's it!I don't know. We have all different perspectives, indeed. I'm just sharing this to show how people really believes in different things. My friend Jep see things in a different point of view.. same as I do.. I do believe in a different way around, and I'm pretty sure that you too.. ^^  This conversation just made me realized on how to respect each other's point of view or belief in life. We can never always make other person believe the same  way as we do but we can always make a stand and make that person understand us (of course, when we express ourselves in a respectful manner). 

I remember my Professor in my Logic class when I was in college.. he said that it's good to have people in your life who knows to argue with you; rather than people in your life who always agree with you. 

Quite true, life will be so boring if the people around you will just always say yes and nod their head to you. It would be nice to have a good argument with someone once in a while and to see, understand, and learn from their points as well. 

Just always remember to argue in a good way. Use respectful language and avoid raising your voice. *wink*

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Celebrate True Life Retreat

It was our office's sports fest (May 29th) when Josh (my office mate) and I talked about seeing each other few months ago during Filled Fridays at CCF Eastwood. Well it's just really amazing because I just started with this new work of mine and seeing Josh made me realized that it's not really our first time to meet each other. So yeah going back, we were just talking about being Christian and all.. Then suddenly Josh told me that there would be a single's retreat on the 12th- 14th of June. He also asked me if I want to join.. well at the back of my mind, I like it and at the same time I don't.

Then when I got home my high school friend, Glenn IM me on Facebook and invited me to the same retreat. So I told him that it's quite sudden and I'm not really sure if I could, since I've just started with my work few weeks ago and I am not certain if I can cover all the fee for the retreat. 

Then after some few days Josh approached me and asked me if I do really like to go. In an instant I said yes and I don't even know why I said that. So Josh told me to just give him whatever amount I could possibly give him and he'll just look for a sponsor who'll help me. So I said sure. When I received my first salary I immediately gave the half of it to Josh. 

Even before the day of the retreat came, I was thinking if what would happen to me there since I was really attending CCF Main and not CCF Eastwood. There were a lot of negative thoughts in my mind during those times. I even thought of not going. But then I realized that it's not about the people there.. If I have friends there or none.. It's all about Jesus. It's about my personal encounter with my God and Savior. 

So on the 12th of June, I did go to the CCF Eastwood and all together with the other participants we went to the Mt. Makiling Re-Creation Center. When we arrived there, I was a real loner. Since the only two person I know on the event were absolutely busy as a bee. So I just sat there alone, until my facilitators approached me (Celine and Micah). So we sat and listened to the 1st session of the retreat. Then we went to our designated room and there we had a chance to finally meet each other. In an instant we were like crazy.

The next morning I met Sandra, she just arrived late that night when I was already asleep. So yeah, we also had a great time. Listening to the messages and having our breakout group. It feels so good to have someone who shares the same passion as you. After all the messages and games, that day went really well. 

It was such really a blessing to be surrounded with people who loves Christ. I really felt like I am at home. Hearing all their testimonials and how Christ really changed their lives. All of those really moved me. I felt really great.. being in a retreat again after two long years. I know that it was never an accident or by chance that I was able to join that retreat.  I know that God really pushed me to be there.. And I thank God for that. I've learned a lot, met new people, and most especially I felt really alive again. It seems like God recharged me again. I was truly filled with God's love. What an amazing God, indeed!

Messages that struck me the most:

1. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." -Galatians 2:20

* This verse really struck me.. I've been following Jesus for quite some time already and yet... I am still the one who's living. I've been committing carnal sin. And it's really good hearing this verse again and to be reminded that since the day I accepted Jesus to be my Lord and Savior I should have left the old me behind and let Jesus to drive my life. I am not perfect.. I am still a work-on-progress.. I still sin.. But knowing that I have a loving heavenly father makes me feel secure and forgiven.

All for God's Glory. Praised be to God.

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Scandal Of Grace - Lyrics

SCANDAL OF GRACE LYRICS

Grace, what have You done?

Murdered for me on that cross

Accused in absence of wrong

My sin washed away in Your blood

Too much to make sense of it all

I know that Your love breaks my fall

The scandal of grace, You died in my place

So my soul will live

Oh to be like You

Give all I have just to know You

Jesus, there's no one besides You

Forever the hope in my heart

Death, where is your sting?

Your power is as dead as my sin

The cross has taught me to live

And mercy, my heart now to sing

The day and its trouble shall come

I know that Your strength is enough

The scandal of grace, You died in my place

So my soul will live

Oh to be like You

Give all I have just to know You

Jesus, there's no one besides You

Forever the hope in my heart

[x2]

And it's all, because of You, Jesus

It's all, because of You, Jesus

It's all, because of Your love

And my soul will live

Oh to be like You

Give all I have just to know You

Jesus, there's no one besides You

Forever the hope in my heart

[x2]

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