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Friday, February 27, 2015

Words...

It's been a while since the last time I've posted here.. Well I guess there are just a lot of things that happened in my life. Too many good... And bad things as well. But there is just one thing --- one thing that I've been keeping to myself for quite some time now. I know that this incident really changed me, 

Well... Just like before, I am not really sharing my story in detail.. But, it all started when someone so dear to me told me things that really hurts me. Words.. Just words. And yet, everything seems so vivid in my memory. I don't know, but to be honest... This time, it's different. It's not the usual forgive- forget thing. This time... It's just all about forgiving. I hate it when all I can do is forgive; yet deep inside me can't even forget. For so many times I tried to think that those words were just blah-blah "not meant to.." Just because of being mad at that moment. Sadly, those words.... They keep on playing inside my head. And it still hurts the same way just as it hurts me for the first time. 😞

I never really asked for too much. All I really want is respect.. I know I don't deserve any of this pain, for all I did is to give you love. 

I am writing this rant early this morning to be my reminder that I got hurt and I need to be stronger. I hope, few weeks from today I'll be better. No more tears when that conversation bump into my memory. Well, just like the old days. This pain would just be a history of mine, tomorrow. This would definitely make me stronger and better. 

To YOU, 
I know you'll never read this. And perhaps you'll never even know how I feel right now. I guess you're not even aware that you'd hurt me. Probably I wouldn't even tell you so. It just really makes me feel sad thinking that you're not even sorry with your words. Forgive me for just forgiving you and not being able to forget. I hope someday everything would be better. 😔