10:38 PM
miidalab
Every day it feels like I am in a war. The battle between my
heart and brain is quite somehow very confusing and depressing at the same
time. It’s almost three months and I thought I’ll be pretty fine by this point of
time, but I guess I was wrong. I was wrong to think and to believe that I am
strong enough to overcome this pain.
Every day is a tough one for me. Every day I am fighting the
urge of texting you or doing something that will be very silly. I think I am
winning with this kind of fight. At least now I know that somehow I can control
myself not to contact you; but I’ll admit that yeah it’s hard. It’s very hard,
indeed.
Yes! Perhaps I am really wrong. And I am very exhausted in
this situation. I don’t think I can handle this for a longer period of time. I
am afraid that I can’t really stand it anymore. I am weak, yes I am. And I am
tired. I am really tired with all of these things that are happening in my
life.
Even though I am in so much pain already, I know I need to
be strong. I know that you will not be happy to see me like this. I know that
you’ll be happy to know that I am doing well and that’s what I want to show
you. I will be fine for you. I will be intact and still. For you I will win
this fight.
Posted in: Rants
