2:17 AM
miidalab
Thinking about yesterday, the life that I had lived in for the past years of my life.. All the heartaches, disappointment, pain, struggles, fuss, and crap in my life. Everything! And now... here I am again, in front of my blog site... a blog site in where I can be who I am. I can be quiet and just look straight on this blank space, a space in which I know that I am not really supposed to say or write about anything at all. No one is asking me to move my fingers across the keyboard... no one-- and yet, here I am. Speaking my heart out.
Heart... Yeah, just a body part.. indeed. But hearing myself speaking out about this part, I vividly recall a lot of things. Umm, specifically.. about a tragic heartache. Yeah, it's a tragic one I say.
Well.. I can still remember myself seeing this same blank space a year ago.. Same format, same same... Yeah, and now as I write... it seems like I can mirror myself. I can still see her sitting in front of her computer trying to collect herself, trying to speak her heart out by putting up the words together on this deadpan. Trying to blog the pain away. Haha.. yeah, I can still recall that term "blogging the pain away" of which she was usually doing. I still feel sorry for her.. Every time I look back and be on that same timeline with my old self, I can't help but to feel disappointed. But yeah? What else can I do? Past is past, it will still remain as a part of my history.
Then... (woohoo! here comes the THEN part) yeah!
Then.... I finally woke up and collected the broken pieces of me. Broken.. yeah.. I was really broken back then. Funny when I usually say before that I wasn't really broken. That I was just hurt and all.. But come on! It's time to finally admit to myself that yeah I was broken way back then... Real broke!
I stood up, head's up. I started walking again and living again! How did it happen? My God... He picked me up. He'd helped me out. He gave me peace..
From that moment, I realized that everything has really an end. Specially that whatever heartache that you're feeling right now. Everyday is a new day, why halt on that pain? Okay, you got hurt? That's totally normal! You're still alive, pain and pleasure -- that's life! Good or bad, look up and give thanks! :)
God bless you~~
Posted in: Random Thoughts
